This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
please come you make the beer taste better
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
