Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
