i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
