cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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