I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
