Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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