One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize