you traded sex for a burrito?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
