Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
