i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
it hurts more in the daytime
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
