he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize