i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
