Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
