Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
