No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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