So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
