the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
