dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i think im in europe. pls send help
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
