Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Randomize
