I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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