How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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