I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
