There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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