I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
