Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
