I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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