I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
