You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
