i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
