I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
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I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
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I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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