Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
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