she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize