is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
