there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
