I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
