And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I will be naked everywhere
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
