I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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