Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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