i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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