I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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