ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I need water and some morals
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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