Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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