census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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