So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
