I feel like I'm in dance class right now
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize