Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
