Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
my liver is dry heaving
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
