No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
