I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize