Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Life is so much better after having sex.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
