your thong is hanging out like whoa
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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