Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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