Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize