why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
