no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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