Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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