i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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