We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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