what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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