I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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