Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
