chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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