I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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