i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
